the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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