just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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