we're blogging at a bar
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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