i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
