I wish life had little blips of pornography
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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