You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Randomize
