So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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