Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
