Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
