I molested 6 butterflies tonight
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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