So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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