either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
it's like heaven, but drunker
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
