It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Nicole vs. Life
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
