marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
