It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
