Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
