with your own penis?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
