Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
