I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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