you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
