Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
