Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
