He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
