Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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