I want to stick my p in your. b.
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Randomize
