If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
they're like a gay fantastic four
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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