Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
