Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
