Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
