i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
