my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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