its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
