dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
