it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
