I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
