It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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