The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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