Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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