I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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