Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
