Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize