Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
