I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
