she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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