I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
