Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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