somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was CRYING into my vagina
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
