The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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