Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
