I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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