I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
