Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
