The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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