I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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