Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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