Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
