Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
