Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
