fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
