my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
