He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Bring me that man meat
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
