sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
