i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
