i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
