Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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