I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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