I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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