I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
