Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
