My boss' voice literally gives me gas
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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