He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize
