My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
