It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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