It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
